Introduction Working with clients who carry a persistent sense of shame often reveals how deeply these experiences are rooted in early relational patterns. Patricia DeYoung’s Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame (2015) offers a thoughtful and clinically grounded...
The Archive
Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame – Reflections from a Relational Therapist
Being in the “I’m OK, You’re OK” Life Position When In-Laws Sabotage Gifts
Introduction This Christmas, a friend made a lovely gift for her son-in-law. When he showed it to his parents they deliberately broke it. Now, Christmas gatherings can often amplify long-standing relational patterns. When in-laws deliberately damage or sabotage a gift...
Why Questions Feel Like Criticism in the Schizoid Process
People whose internal world is organised around a schizoid process [this is jargon for people who need a lot of safety in their life] often experience ordinary questions as criticism. This reaction is not about being ‘overly sensitive’, nor is it a sign of...
Understanding Ware’s Sequence in Transactional Analysis
Ware’s Sequence is a well-established concept within Transactional Analysis (TA) that explains how individuals move through ego states in predictable ways when stress, conflict, or relational pressure builds. Originally described by Paul Ware in the early 1980s, it...
A Neurodiversity-Affirming Reading List for Therapists and Clients
I was chatting with some other therapists about good books for neurodivergent folk. They came up with a list. This aims to be a curated, community-informed reading list for therapists and clients exploring neurodivergence. All books listed: support the neurodiversity...
How Online Booking Systems Can Improve Accessibility for Neurodivergent Clients
For many neurodivergent people—particularly those with ADHD, autism, or social anxiety—the process of arranging therapy can be daunting. Traditional booking methods often involve making a phone call, navigating conversation scripts, and responding spontaneously under...
ADHD and Subscriptions – Why We Don’t Cancel and How to Take Control
I often find myself unintentionally collecting subscriptions — streaming platforms, productivity apps, fitness memberships, software trials, and more. I may start with enthusiasm but soon forget to cancel, even when no longer using them. This pattern can be...
Body Doubling for ADHD – Accountability and Focus Through Connection
For many people with ADHD, getting started can be the hardest part. Even when motivation is high, tasks can remain untouched, delayed by overwhelm, distraction, or inertia. One increasingly popular technique to break this cycle is body doubling: working alongside...
What Are the Advantages and Disadvantages of Self-Identifying as ADHD
Self-identifying as having Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) means recognising in yourself a pattern of symptoms that seems to fit ADHD and using that label personally—often before (or instead of) a formal clinical diagnosis. In the UK, formal diagnosis...