There are certain questions that seem so ordinary in therapy that they can easily pass unnoticed. “Do you feel safe?” is one of them. It is usually offered with care, sometimes gently, sometimes almost in passing. And for many people, it works well enough. But for...
Mental Health and Wellbeing Articles
When – Do You Feel Safe? – Doesn’t Quite Work
Why Do I Pull Away When I Want Connection?
Many people recognise a painful pattern in their relationships: the closer someone gets, the more they want to retreat. They may long for intimacy, yet when it arrives they feel a sudden urge to pick a fault, create distance, or shut down emotionally. Afterwards, they...
Why Self-Care Can Feel Like Another Thing to Fail At?
Self-care has become a familiar concept. People are told to rest, exercise, eat well, set boundaries, take breaks, and be kinder to themselves. For some people, this advice is useful and actionable. For many others, it lands as another item on an already long list of...
Open Hearted Parenting: A Group for Parents and Carers of LGBTQ+ Young People
When a young person comes out, begins exploring their gender or sexuality, or asks to be known differently, parents and carers can feel many things at once. There may be love, pride and relief. There may also be worry, protectiveness, uncertainty, grief for an...
When the Part That Pleases Meets the Part That Pushes Back
Have you ever agreed to something you did not want to do, then found yourself angry, avoidant, or determined not to follow through? Or perhaps you have wanted closeness but become distant as soon as another person seems to expect something from you. These shifts can...
From Protecting Yourself to Feeling More Free
Some people move through relationships with an exhausting sense that they must either fit in or fight. They may please others until they feel invisible, then pull away or push back once the pressure becomes too much. There can be little room for a simpler experience:...
Seemingly Insignificant Minor Interactions
Some of the most important moments in therapy do not look important at first. A slight pause before answering. A change of tone. A joke that arrives just as something painful is becoming visible. A glance away. A small apology. A moment of warmth that is quickly...
The Rebellious Adaptive Child: When Saying No Has Kept You Safe
Many people know the feeling of becoming suddenly resistant when someone tells them what to do. A request that seems ordinary can produce irritation, a wish to argue, an urge to leave, or a firm internal “no”. Afterwards, they may wonder why they reacted so strongly....
The Conforming Adaptive Child: Why We Learn to Please, Fit In, and Keep the Peace
Many people come to therapy with a painful question: “Why do I keep doing what other people want, even when it costs me?” It might show up as people-pleasing, avoiding disagreement, over-apologising, freezing in the face of authority, or feeling responsible for...
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