A common worry about starting therapy is that you will be expected to sit down and say exactly what is wrong in articulate, emotional language. For some people, this is already manageable. They can describe feeling low, anxious, angry, or ashamed with reasonable...
Psychotherapy
What If I Cannot Explain What I Feel?
What If Eye Contact Feels Too Intense?
Often eye contact is treated as a sign of attention, respect and honesty. Therapists are often trained to use it as a way of communicating presence. Yet for many people, direct eye contact does not feel neutral. It can feel intrusive, exposing, overstimulating, or...
Is My Problem Serious Enough for Therapy?
A common barrier to starting therapy is the thought: “Other people have it worse.” You may look at your life and decide that your distress is not dramatic enough, not traumatic enough, or not unusual enough to justify seeking help. This thought can be surprisingly...
When Anger Is Trying to Protect Something Tender
Anger is often spoken about as if it is mainly a difficulty to be managed. We hear about anger management, anger issues, angry outbursts, angry people. Of course anger can become harmful. It can be used to intimidate, control, punish or avoid responsibility. When...
Concerns About Gabor Maté’s Teachings Among People with ADHD
Gabor Maté continues to have a strong influence on trauma-informed psychotherapy. His work on addiction, attachment, trauma, stress, and emotional development has resonated deeply with many people seeking alternatives to purely biomedical explanations of psychological...
How the Idea of Conscience in Human Beings is Reflected in the Structure of AI
I enjoy the use of analogies. For me they work not because of an exact correspondence, but the similarities and differences often help with an understanding of one or both sides of the analogy. In this, the result of a recent conversation with AI, I was able to learn...
Eco-Anxiety and Climate Grief – How Psychotherapy Can Help in a Changing World
As the realities of climate change become increasingly difficult to ignore–increasing average global temperatures, increasing sea-level, more extreme weather–many people are experiencing profound emotional responses to environmental degradation, biodiversity loss, and...
Autonomy, Alignment, and the Psychotherapy of Systems
The emergence of artificial intelligence that can update itself, modify internal models, and act with partial autonomy raises a set of questions that sound surprisingly familiar to psychotherapists. Concerns about misalignment, harmful optimisation, or systems losing...
Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame – Reflections from a Relational Therapist
Introduction Working with clients who carry a persistent sense of shame often reveals how deeply these experiences are rooted in early relational patterns. Patricia DeYoung’s Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame (2015) offers a thoughtful and clinically grounded...
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