A Relational, Humanistic Critique of the “Dopamine Hole”

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A concise relational, humanistic critique of the popular “dopamine hole” self-help video from Newel of Knowledge, exploring what it gets right, what it oversimplifies, and how people in distress might use it safely.

Keyword phrase

dopamine hole relational humanistic critique

The video in brief

The video “How to quickly escape a dopamine hole” (YouTube) can be viewed here:

The presenter speaks to viewers who feel “flat, foggy, and fried” and names this a “dopamine hole”, caused by “cheap pleasures” such as scrolling, pornography, junk food, and gaming. He reassures viewers that:

• “You are not broken”, only overstimulated.
• A dopamine hole is not laziness, weakness, or a fixed flaw.
• You can escape within one to three days by unplugging and using a structured method.

Spoiler Alert – the video deliberately leaves this next session until later in the video.

The method is the acronym STORER:

• Stop digging – remove sources of “cheap pleasure”.
• Tune into the body – brief, intense somatic exercises to create an energy “spark”.
• One small win – complete one simple task (e.g. make the bed, wash a plate).
• Regulate for 10–15 minutes – a short walk, quiet cup of tea, stretching, basic self-care.
• Engage one target – focus on one meaningful task for the rest of the day.
• Reflect on the signal – look back at what led into the “hole” and what might be done differently next time.

The tone is energetic and solution-focused. From a relational, humanistic perspective, there is real value here, but also important omissions.

What the video gets right

Normalising distress and softening shame

The presenter is clear that a dopamine hole is:

• Not a moral failing or laziness.
• Not a permanent personality flaw.

This matches humanistic concerns about shame and self-attack. Rogers argued that psychological change depends on an atmosphere of non-judgemental acceptance and empathy (Rogers, 1957). Naming people as “not broken” can be genuinely relieving for some viewers.

Small, doable steps

The STORER method emphasises very small actions and short periods of effort. Behavioural activation research suggests that modest, structured activities can help shift mild to moderate low mood and behavioural inertia (Cuijpers, van Straten and Warmerdam, 2007). Humanistic therapists also often look for what feels realistically possible now, not idealised goals.

Attention to the body

“Getting out of your head and into your body” is a helpful principle. Contemporary relational neuroscience highlights that affect regulation is bodily and relational, not simply cognitive (Schore, 2012). Gentle movement, stretching, and simple sensory rituals (a quiet cup of tea, a short walk) can be regulating for many people.

Up to this point, the video is largely compatible with humanistic practice. The difficulties lie more in the explanatory frame and what is left out.

A relational, humanistic critique

1. An individual solution to a relational problem

The video treats the “dopamine hole” as a problem inside one brain, fixed by that individual’s self-discipline over the next one to three days. Relational and intersubjective perspectives, however, see experience as co-created within relationships and contexts, not sealed inside a single mind (Stolorow and Atwood, 1993; Orange, 1995; Fogel, 1993).

Questions that matter clinically but are absent in the video include:

• What relationships, pressures, or histories are wrapped around this “hole”?
• Is scrolling or late-night gaming the only reliable comfort in a life marked by isolation, shame, or chronic stress?
• Who has been available, or unavailable, when this person feels “flat, foggy, and fried”?

A humanistic–relational stance sees compulsive phone use or food not only as “cheap pleasure”, but also as creative attempts at self-soothing in environments that may be harsh, lonely, or overstimulating.

2. A simplistic dopamine story

The video presents a tidy picture:

• Each burst of “cheap pleasure” spikes dopamine.
• Every spike must be “paid back” with a deeper, longer-lasting spike of pain.
• Enough of this leads to a “dopamine hole” that can be reversed by unplugging for a few days.

Dopamine science is more nuanced. Dopamine is centrally involved in reward prediction, learning and effort-based choice, not simply pleasure up/pain down (Schultz, Dayan and Montague, 1997; Salamone and Correa, 2012). It does not run out like a battery because of a weekend of scrolling.

The framing overlaps with “dopamine fasting” – the belief that abstaining from stimulation “resets” dopamine. Commentators have criticised this as a misinterpretation of the science; stepping back from compulsive behaviours can be useful, but not because dopamine has literally been detoxed (Grinspoon, 2020).

For many clients, a more honest message is: unplugging from intense stimulation can help you notice what you are feeling and give your nervous system some space, but it is not a direct chemical reset button.

3. No co-regulation, no developmental context

All the suggested interventions are solitary: close the tab, move your body, do a small task, pick a target. There is no mention of:

• Reaching out to someone safe;
• Being with another person in a dysregulated state;
• The early relational patterns that shape how we self-soothe.

Yet parent–infant research shows that our capacity for self-regulation grows out of co-regulation – the caregiver and infant adjusting to each other moment by moment (Feldman, 2007; Fogel, 1993). Schore’s work similarly highlights how attachment relationships scaffold later affect regulation (Schore, 2012).

From this vantage point, key therapeutic questions become:

• “Who can sit beside you in this ‘dopamine hole’ so you are not in it alone?”
• “How do your habits with screens or food relate to earlier experiences of comfort, neglect, or criticism?”
• “What happens between us, here, when we talk about your scrolling or porn use?”

The video’s strictly individual, willpower-focused frame misses these relational dimensions.

4. Shame, responsibility, and “hard choices”

The presenter explicitly tries to reduce shame, but the narrative of “easy choices that lead to a hard life” versus “hard choices that lead to an easy life” can easily be internalised as:

• “If I cannot make the hard choices, I am choosing a hard life.”
• “If I keep scrolling, I am to blame for my own suffering.”

Rogers warned that advice without deep empathic understanding can feel evaluative, even when it sounds supportive (Rogers, 1957). Orange (1995) similarly emphasises a stance of shared inquiry rather than subtle moralising.

For people with complex trauma, neurodivergence, poverty, or chronic illness, the message that their pain is largely a function of their “easy choices” risks re-inscribing the very shame the video claims to dissolve.

5. Underplaying depression, burnout, and trauma

The video states that a dopamine hole is “not clinical depression or burnout”, even though it might feel similar. For some viewers, that distinction is reassuring. For others, it may subtly suggest that their state is mainly about stimulation and habit, rather than a potentially serious mental health difficulty.

Clinically, a pattern of flatness, loss of interest, withdrawal, and difficulty functioning can point to:

• Major depression;
• Chronic burnout or occupational stress;
• Trauma-related states.

For these presentations, a one- to three-day STORER protocol may be inadequate. A relational, humanistic approach would explicitly encourage people to seek relational and professional support if their state is severe, long-lasting, or worsening.

6. Somatic techniques without tailoring

Some of the body interventions (e.g. 30 seconds of hyperventilation followed by a breath-hold, vigorous shaking, cold water to the face) are quite intense. For some nervous systems – especially those with panic, dissociation, or cardiac vulnerabilities – such practices can be agitating rather than regulating.

Trauma-informed relational work usually emphasises graduated, titrated experimentation with bodily strategies, in dialogue with the person’s moment-to-moment experience. A generic one-way video cannot offer that level of attunement.

How a relational, humanistic stance might use this video

A relational therapist might help someone use the video as a starting point rather than a blueprint, by:

• Valuing its normalising message (“you are not broken”) while also validating the depth of their suffering.
• Treating “dopamine hole” as a phenomenological description – feeling emptied out after repetitive, high-stimulation behaviours – rather than as a precise neurochemical diagnosis.
• Adapting parts of STORER as collaborative experiments, not tests of willpower:
  • Identifying gentle, safe ways to “tune into the body”.
  • Choosing “one small win” together, with curiosity about what helps and what hinders.
  • Using the “Reflect” step in a genuinely relational way: “What did it mean that you reached for your phone then? Where did you learn to cope like that? How was that received in your family?”

Most importantly, a relational, humanistic approach keeps returning to the question:

• “What is this ‘dopamine hole’ telling us about your life, your relationships, and the ways you have had to survive?”

Rather than only asking how quickly the person can climb out, it asks who will be with them as they do so, and what might need to change around them so that they do not have to live on the edge of a hole at all.

References

Cuijpers, P., van Straten, A. and Warmerdam, L. (2007) ‘Behavioural activation treatments of depression: A meta-analysis’, Clinical Psychology Review, 27(3), pp. 318–326. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2006.11.001

Feldman, R. (2007) ‘Parent–infant synchrony and the construction of shared timing: Physiological precursors, developmental outcomes, and risk conditions’, Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 48(3–4), pp. 329–354. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1469-7610.2006.01701.x

Fogel, A. (1993) Developing Through Relationships: Origins of Communication, Self, and Culture. Chicago: University of Chicago Press. ISBN: 9780226256597.

Grinspoon, P. (2020) ‘Dopamine fasting: Misunderstanding science spawns a maladaptive fad’, Harvard Health Publishing. Available at: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/dopamine-fasting-misunderstanding-science-spawns-a-maladaptive-fad-2020022618917

Orange, D.M. (1995) Emotional Understanding: Studies in Psychoanalytic Epistemology. New York: Guilford Press. ISBN: 9781572300101.

Rogers, C.R. (1957) ‘The necessary and sufficient conditions of therapeutic personality change’, Journal of Consulting Psychology, 21(2), pp. 95–103. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1037/h0045357

Salamone, J.D. and Correa, M. (2012) ‘The mysterious motivational functions of mesolimbic dopamine’, Neuron, 76(3), pp. 470–485. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuron.2012.10.021

Schore, A.N. (2012) The Science of the Art of Psychotherapy. New York: W.W. Norton. ISBN: 9780393706642.

Schultz, W., Dayan, P. and Montague, P.R. (1997) ‘A neural substrate of prediction and reward’, Science, 275(5306), pp. 1593–1599. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1126/science.275.5306.1593

Stolorow, R.D. and Atwood, G.E. (1993) Contexts of Being: The Intersubjective Foundations of Psychological Life. Hillsdale, NJ: Analytic Press / Routledge. ISBN: 9780881633887.