Exploring Happiness, Sadness, Anger, and Fear
As I navigate through life, I’ve come to see that emotions are like colours on a painter’s palette—each one adding depth and dimension to the canvas of my experiences. The four basic emotions—happiness, sadness, anger, and fear—are fundamental to who I am. Yet, I’ve also noticed how, from a young age, I was often encouraged to cover them up, especially when they were deemed inconvenient or uncomfortable.
Happiness is a vibrant, joyful hue, but I quickly learned that not all forms of happiness were welcome. While I was encouraged to show calm contentment, exuberant joy was often met with discomfort or disapproval. “Don’t get too excited,” I’d hear, as if there was something wrong with fully expressing the high energy of happiness. So, I began to temper my joy, keeping it within socially acceptable limits, even when I wanted to let it overflow.
Sadness, on the other hand, is a deep, somber shade that I was often told to hide. “Don’t cry,” they’d say, as if shedding tears was something to be ashamed of. Over time, I learned to suppress my sadness, to push it down so far that it wouldn’t show. But I’ve come to understand that sadness is as essential as happiness; it allows me to process loss and disappointment, and to appreciate the joyful moments even more.
Anger is a fiery, intense colour that I was taught to control or, better yet, not feel at all. Anger, I was told, was dangerous and unbecoming. As a child, I learned to bury my anger, to cover it with a thin veneer of calmness. Yet, anger is a powerful emotion that, when acknowledged and understood, can serve as a catalyst for change and self-assertion.
Fear, often seen as a dark and shadowy tone, was something I was expected to overcome, to push aside in favour of bravery. I learned to hide my fear, to pretend it didn’t exist, even when it loomed large. But fear, I’ve discovered, is not something to be ashamed of; it’s a natural response to the unknown and can guide me towards caution and care.
As I reflect on these four basic emotions, I realise how much energy I’ve spent covering them up, conforming to the expectations of those around me. However, true emotional health comes from acknowledging and embracing these emotions, allowing them to add richness and authenticity to my life. In therapy, I’ve learned that it’s okay to feel happy, sad, angry, or fearful. Each emotion has its place, and each one contributes to the beautiful, complex painting that is my life.
What are your experiences growing up? How were your emotions received? How are you right now?