In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, Manager parts are proactive protectors that work to prevent emotional pain from surfacing. They strive to keep the system in control by managing behaviour, emotions, relationships, and external impressions. Unlike Firefighters, who act reactively in crises, Managers operate in the background—structuring lives, enforcing rules, and avoiding risk.
Engaging Manager parts requires patience, respect, and a commitment to non-pathologising their strategies. The questions below are designed to help therapists begin a dialogue with these often highly responsible and burdened parts.
What Are Manager Parts?
Managers are tasked with maintaining control and avoiding situations that might activate vulnerable Exiles—those parts holding unprocessed pain. Their strategies might include:
- Perfectionism
- Self-criticism
- People-pleasing
- Overfunctioning
- Avoidance or withdrawal
- Constant planning or intellectualising
Although Managers can seem rigid, demanding, or harsh, their core motivation is protective: they want to keep the system safe.
Questions to Ask a Manager Part
These questions aim to foster curiosity and mutual understanding, allowing the therapist and client to learn how the Manager operates and what it needs in order to soften its role.
Establishing Contact
- “Would it be all right if I spoke with you directly?”
- “What would you like me to understand about how you’re helping?”
- “How do you feel about us doing this inner work?”
- “Are there any concerns you have about me or the therapy process?”
Understanding Role and Strategies
- “What do you do to try to keep things running smoothly?”
- “How do you try to protect the system from distress or danger?”
- “What behaviours do you influence most often?”
- “What do you most want to avoid?”
Exploring History and Development
- “How long have you been doing this job?”
- “Do you remember how or when you first took on this role?”
- “Was there a specific event or time that made you feel like you had to step up?”
Clarifying Burdens and Beliefs
- “Do you ever feel exhausted or under pressure?”
- “What would happen if you didn’t do this job?”
- “Are there beliefs you hold about what happens when things get out of control?”
Relationship with Other Parts
- “Do you work closely with any other parts, like Firefighters?”
- “How do you feel about the Exiles in the system?”
- “What do you think about the Self being involved in this process?”
Invitation to Change
- “If you didn’t have to do this all the time, what would you rather be doing?”
- “Would you be open to letting the Self lead, just for a moment?”
- “Is there anything you need from me before you can relax?”
Working with Managers: Key Principles
- Build trust over time: Managers are often cautious or sceptical of change. They need to know that the therapist respects their concerns and won’t rush the process.
- Acknowledge their value: These parts usually hold responsibility for the system’s survival, especially in systems shaped by trauma.
- Recognise their fear: Behind every controlling behaviour is usually a fear of collapse, chaos, shame, or overwhelm.
- Invite—not push: Managers may soften or relax when they sense that the Self is calm, confident, and capable.
Conclusion
Manager parts may not be loud or dramatic, but they carry enormous responsibility for the system’s functioning. By approaching them with curiosity and compassion, therapists can help clients begin to loosen rigid internal structures, creating space for healing, spontaneity, and connection. These parts deserve to be seen not as obstacles, but as protectors doing the best they can.
References
- Schwartz, R. C. (2001). Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model. Trailheads Publications. ISBN: 0972148000.
- Anderson, F. S., Sweezy, M., & Schwartz, R. C. (2017). Internal Family Systems Skills Training Manual: Trauma-Informed Treatment for Anxiety, Depression, PTSD & Substance Abuse. PESI Publishing.
- Sweezy, M., & Ziskind, E. (Eds.). (2013). Internal Family Systems Therapy: New Dimensions. Routledge.