Mearns’ work on relational depth has been influential in shaping how practitioners understand and develop meaningful connections with their clients. At its core, relational depth refers to moments of profound contact and mutual understanding. By integrating these insights into a broader relational model of counselling, therapists can foster deeper therapeutic alliances and enhance the quality of change within sessions.
What Is Relational Depth?
Mearns and Cooper (2005) define relational depth as those moments in therapy where both client and counsellor experience a high level of intimacy and realness in their relationship. This goes beyond the usual therapeutic alliance, aiming for a sense of genuine, human-to-human contact. Rather than mere technique, this depth is characterised by authenticity, presence, and empathic resonance.
Key Elements for a Relational Model
- Authenticity and Transparency
A relational model grounded in Mearns’ approach emphasises the therapist’s willingness to be genuinely present. The practitioner is encouraged to move beyond professional distance and engage with the client as a real person, while still maintaining ethical boundaries and professionalism. - Mutual Involvement
In traditional counselling methods, the therapist is sometimes seen as an ‘expert’. However, a relational model informed by Mearns suggests the counsellor and client co-create the therapeutic experience. Relational depth thrives when the client can see and sense the therapist’s genuine involvement in the relationship. -
Empathy as Shared Experience
Empathy is not just about understanding; it is about entering the client’s world without losing one’s sense of self. This idea is central to person-centred approaches and is further enriched by Mearns’ concept of relational depth, which holds that empathy can create moments of profound meeting between two individuals. -
Presence and Attunement
Attunement involves being fully attentive to the client’s experiences, emotions, and nuances. When combined with a readiness to share the therapist’s own reactions appropriately, these moments can foster an atmosphere of profound mutual recognition. -
Cultivation of Safety and Trust
Establishing a safe, non-judgemental space is paramount for relational depth. Clients who feel safe enough to share their vulnerabilities are more likely to engage in an authentic relationship with the therapist. This sense of safety allows both parties to take interpersonal risks, enhancing the prospect of deeper moments of connection.
Practical Applications
- Reflect on Your Own Readiness
Before each session, consider how open and ready you are to ‘meet’ your client at a deeper level. This self-awareness helps you remain present. - Invite Collaborative Dialogue
Encourage the client to guide the conversation towards areas that feel personally significant. Your role is to be respectfully curious and genuinely engaged. - Use Warmth and Empathy
Simple verbal and non-verbal cues—such as nodding, open posture, and gentle but sincere affirmations—encourage clients to go deeper into their feelings and experiences. - Acknowledge Moments of Depth
Recognise and gently name those moments where you sense a strong bond of closeness or understanding. Doing so reinforces their importance and signals to the client that you value the relationship aspect of therapy.
Conclusion
By embedding the concept of relational depth into a relational model of counselling, therapists are better placed to create a transformative space for change. This model underscores the significance of mutual engagement, genuine presence, and empathic understanding. These elements, inspired by Mearns’ seminal work, strengthen the therapeutic alliance and pave the way for deeper and more impactful client outcomes.
References
- Mearns, D., & Cooper, M. (2005). Working at Relational Depth in Counselling and Psychotherapy. London: SAGE.